Just what I was waiting for.
Life was going great, I had been living in Oregon for just a couple months and I had already felt like I was fitting in. My friends and coworkers all felt like we had been raised together with how well we got along and we were all so alike even though we were raised in completely different places. I had a newfound confidence.
Everyone always had thought I was confident back home, I was that "pretty, smart and funny girl." A lot of the time, the guys were considered my close friends because of my raunchy comments and rude jokes. The girls always wanted to be my friends too. I always said what was on my mind and had no shame. You're wondering how I'm feeling today, I'll tell you, "Really fucking bored. But I'm here and loving life." It'd always make someone chuckle.
When I got to Oregon, I realized what it was to keep my personality but tone it down. I was more aware of the people surrounding me. I still kept my fearless attitude, but I would watch my mouth more than ever before, and take into consideration how others felt. It felt great to be so much more connected to people.
The one moment when I realized what kind of people live in Eugene, Oregon is when I had lived there for about a month. I was going on a first date with a new guy I had met, and I was feeling confident in how I looked and felt. I stopped at a gas station, and the girl behind the counter said, "You're freaking gorgeous. You're just beautiful. I always see you come in and you seem awesome. Do you want to be friends?" And instantly, I pulled my phone out and we added each other on Facebook. We would hangout whenever our schedules would allow us. We even went to the gym together once, which was a first for me. I never trusted going to the gym with anyone because I always felt self-conscious. But there we were, dying together on the elliptical, trying to gossip while we gasped for breath. We got back all the calories we lost by going to Cafe Yumm! right next door, where we could actually gossip and complete a sentence before taking a breath. And by the way, the date with that guy never went anywhere. We got food and had a couple beers at the Beirstein (if you're ever in Eugene and like beer, go there. It'll change your life). But I realized he was too rocker for me.
Finally, the holidays were approaching fast. I was missing my mom, sister (and her sweet daughters) and brothers more than ever before. I would think about how great Michigan holidays were. Cozy and warm while being stuffed all together in the house by the fireplace. Us girls would all cook dinner while the guys would watch some Sci-Fi movie in the living room. Mom yelling, "Dinner time!" And hearing the boys' stomping in because they had been waiting all day for this delicious turkey, sweet potato bake, homemade potatoes and gravy, plus of course, tons of homemade pies. You would be warm and snuggled up and look outside to see the cold, crisp, white snow on the trees. It was always like a movie scene where everyone looks happy.
But this was my first year without all of that, and not seeing snow for a holiday. Western Oregon has a mild climate so it rarely ever snows. But for some reason, that was okay to me. It still felt like Thanksgiving and then Christmas. I still felt that warm coziness, I'm grateful my aunt was aware of my feelings. She tried doing everything she could to make my first holiday away as great as she could. I had moved in with my roommates by Christmastime. It was my one roommates first holiday without her family too, because it was her first year at the University of Oregon and they were all from California. She decorated our house with festive trees and streamers, while I baked desserts. Between her and my aunt, Christmas wasn't lonely at all, like I feared.
For Christmas Eve, my aunt had me over to have a sleepover with her and her daughters. We watched their favorite Christmas movie and snacked on popcorn and drank wine. It was so perfect. The next morning we woke up to open presents and then get ready for the day. We were spending the day with her boyfriend's family, like she did every year. I was nervous to meet them all, hoping I didn't feel uncomfortable or like an outsider. As soon as we walked in, grandma wrapped me in a hug and said she's been waiting to meet me for a long time. My aunt's boyfriend hugged me and introduced me to everyone, especially the champagne and orange juice (mimosa's ended up being my new favorite drink). It was just like a family Christmas that I would have at home. It was warm and inviting, and even the nearly see-through white curtains reminded me of snow.
I met my aunt's boyfriend's nephew there. He was quiet and seemed sweet. With my cheeks flushed from drinking a couple extra mimosa's, we would make eye contact and quickly look away. I could tell something great would happen. Thank you, Christmas. We later added each other on Facebook and exchanged numbers. The more we talked, the more we realized how similar we were. We both loved to eat Oreo's in bed, couldn't share a glass of milk (and very picky about sharing other drinks), hated the mall (it was so uncomfortable), loved eating sushi and would rather go to sleep than stay out late at the bar. He just got me. And I got him. He was everything I had been waiting for.
Everyone always had thought I was confident back home, I was that "pretty, smart and funny girl." A lot of the time, the guys were considered my close friends because of my raunchy comments and rude jokes. The girls always wanted to be my friends too. I always said what was on my mind and had no shame. You're wondering how I'm feeling today, I'll tell you, "Really fucking bored. But I'm here and loving life." It'd always make someone chuckle.
When I got to Oregon, I realized what it was to keep my personality but tone it down. I was more aware of the people surrounding me. I still kept my fearless attitude, but I would watch my mouth more than ever before, and take into consideration how others felt. It felt great to be so much more connected to people.
The one moment when I realized what kind of people live in Eugene, Oregon is when I had lived there for about a month. I was going on a first date with a new guy I had met, and I was feeling confident in how I looked and felt. I stopped at a gas station, and the girl behind the counter said, "You're freaking gorgeous. You're just beautiful. I always see you come in and you seem awesome. Do you want to be friends?" And instantly, I pulled my phone out and we added each other on Facebook. We would hangout whenever our schedules would allow us. We even went to the gym together once, which was a first for me. I never trusted going to the gym with anyone because I always felt self-conscious. But there we were, dying together on the elliptical, trying to gossip while we gasped for breath. We got back all the calories we lost by going to Cafe Yumm! right next door, where we could actually gossip and complete a sentence before taking a breath. And by the way, the date with that guy never went anywhere. We got food and had a couple beers at the Beirstein (if you're ever in Eugene and like beer, go there. It'll change your life). But I realized he was too rocker for me.
Finally, the holidays were approaching fast. I was missing my mom, sister (and her sweet daughters) and brothers more than ever before. I would think about how great Michigan holidays were. Cozy and warm while being stuffed all together in the house by the fireplace. Us girls would all cook dinner while the guys would watch some Sci-Fi movie in the living room. Mom yelling, "Dinner time!" And hearing the boys' stomping in because they had been waiting all day for this delicious turkey, sweet potato bake, homemade potatoes and gravy, plus of course, tons of homemade pies. You would be warm and snuggled up and look outside to see the cold, crisp, white snow on the trees. It was always like a movie scene where everyone looks happy.
But this was my first year without all of that, and not seeing snow for a holiday. Western Oregon has a mild climate so it rarely ever snows. But for some reason, that was okay to me. It still felt like Thanksgiving and then Christmas. I still felt that warm coziness, I'm grateful my aunt was aware of my feelings. She tried doing everything she could to make my first holiday away as great as she could. I had moved in with my roommates by Christmastime. It was my one roommates first holiday without her family too, because it was her first year at the University of Oregon and they were all from California. She decorated our house with festive trees and streamers, while I baked desserts. Between her and my aunt, Christmas wasn't lonely at all, like I feared.
For Christmas Eve, my aunt had me over to have a sleepover with her and her daughters. We watched their favorite Christmas movie and snacked on popcorn and drank wine. It was so perfect. The next morning we woke up to open presents and then get ready for the day. We were spending the day with her boyfriend's family, like she did every year. I was nervous to meet them all, hoping I didn't feel uncomfortable or like an outsider. As soon as we walked in, grandma wrapped me in a hug and said she's been waiting to meet me for a long time. My aunt's boyfriend hugged me and introduced me to everyone, especially the champagne and orange juice (mimosa's ended up being my new favorite drink). It was just like a family Christmas that I would have at home. It was warm and inviting, and even the nearly see-through white curtains reminded me of snow.
I met my aunt's boyfriend's nephew there. He was quiet and seemed sweet. With my cheeks flushed from drinking a couple extra mimosa's, we would make eye contact and quickly look away. I could tell something great would happen. Thank you, Christmas. We later added each other on Facebook and exchanged numbers. The more we talked, the more we realized how similar we were. We both loved to eat Oreo's in bed, couldn't share a glass of milk (and very picky about sharing other drinks), hated the mall (it was so uncomfortable), loved eating sushi and would rather go to sleep than stay out late at the bar. He just got me. And I got him. He was everything I had been waiting for.
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