Is This How You Journal in the 21st Century?
Whale, hello there---
Yeah, I just wanted to prepare you for the dry, dead humor that you'll be reading about if you continue on.
I've decided to change my whole approach on how I use this blog. Instead of telling long, detailed stories, I'm going to use it as the journal that my therapist told me to write in. I'll tell about my thoughts, feelings, stories, and basically everything that might be possibly interesting to read (surprisingly, there's a lot). What better way to do some soul searching than write it for the whole world to see, amiright?
So, let's start fresh. To begin things (and to give you a little insight to my life) I'm going to tell you how the general conversation goes when someone asks to tell them about myself. "Well, I'm from Michigan. I moved to Eugene in September." Then they ask why I moved across the country by myself. "Well, I didn't move by myself. My daughter and I moved here so she could be closer to her dad. Yeah, I met him when I lived here a few years ago. Yeah, I move a lot. I left for the military after I met him, and when I got out of BCT, I went back to Michigan to see my family. And then I found out I was 20 weeks pregnant and pregnant all through Basic. Had my daughter in December 2016, and I finally decided we'd move back to Oregon in September 2017 so she could be with her dad too. No, we're not together. Yeah, I know, I sound crazy. It gets crazier, but that's a different story for a different day." Annnnnd, now looking at that all typed out, I can fully understand why people usually take 2 steps back when they hear me say all that. Like, "Hey, I've known you for 3.5 minutes and now I know your whole life story. Awesome."
Eugene- Oregon in general- has this amazing way of making me find myself. I mean, my original trip out here a little over 2 years ago was so that I could detox from a drug addiction and escape an abusive relationship. So, it's safe to say that this place has always had a special place in my heart. Recently, about 3 weeks ago to be exact, I had a little mental breakdown. I don't mean where I acted like my heart got broken and I wanted to get chocolate wasted while watching "The Notebook" for a day until I finally pulled myself together. No. I mean like 2 solid weeks of laying in bed or on the couch, in my dark apartment, not having the energy to do anything or see anyone. Every day at work, it was more and more difficult for no particular reason except I just had this blanket of depression over me. I had no idea what was causing it either, everything has been going great at work and with my friends. Life in general has been amazing. So why was I feeling like this? And why couldn't I feel better? That's when I realized that there is a reason that I was depressed, I just needed to find that reason. So, I decided I would try going to therapy, just to be able to dig into my past and find out why I am how I am. Here I am, writing my life down in hopes I can put it in the past and move on.
To those who have gotten to this point, congrats. You're more dedicated that I would be. I promise it'll get better. I just wanted to write a "welcome" letter to get you ready for what is going to come. Prepare yourself for some deep shit.
Yeah, I just wanted to prepare you for the dry, dead humor that you'll be reading about if you continue on.
I've decided to change my whole approach on how I use this blog. Instead of telling long, detailed stories, I'm going to use it as the journal that my therapist told me to write in. I'll tell about my thoughts, feelings, stories, and basically everything that might be possibly interesting to read (surprisingly, there's a lot). What better way to do some soul searching than write it for the whole world to see, amiright?
So, let's start fresh. To begin things (and to give you a little insight to my life) I'm going to tell you how the general conversation goes when someone asks to tell them about myself. "Well, I'm from Michigan. I moved to Eugene in September." Then they ask why I moved across the country by myself. "Well, I didn't move by myself. My daughter and I moved here so she could be closer to her dad. Yeah, I met him when I lived here a few years ago. Yeah, I move a lot. I left for the military after I met him, and when I got out of BCT, I went back to Michigan to see my family. And then I found out I was 20 weeks pregnant and pregnant all through Basic. Had my daughter in December 2016, and I finally decided we'd move back to Oregon in September 2017 so she could be with her dad too. No, we're not together. Yeah, I know, I sound crazy. It gets crazier, but that's a different story for a different day." Annnnnd, now looking at that all typed out, I can fully understand why people usually take 2 steps back when they hear me say all that. Like, "Hey, I've known you for 3.5 minutes and now I know your whole life story. Awesome."
Eugene- Oregon in general- has this amazing way of making me find myself. I mean, my original trip out here a little over 2 years ago was so that I could detox from a drug addiction and escape an abusive relationship. So, it's safe to say that this place has always had a special place in my heart. Recently, about 3 weeks ago to be exact, I had a little mental breakdown. I don't mean where I acted like my heart got broken and I wanted to get chocolate wasted while watching "The Notebook" for a day until I finally pulled myself together. No. I mean like 2 solid weeks of laying in bed or on the couch, in my dark apartment, not having the energy to do anything or see anyone. Every day at work, it was more and more difficult for no particular reason except I just had this blanket of depression over me. I had no idea what was causing it either, everything has been going great at work and with my friends. Life in general has been amazing. So why was I feeling like this? And why couldn't I feel better? That's when I realized that there is a reason that I was depressed, I just needed to find that reason. So, I decided I would try going to therapy, just to be able to dig into my past and find out why I am how I am. Here I am, writing my life down in hopes I can put it in the past and move on.
To those who have gotten to this point, congrats. You're more dedicated that I would be. I promise it'll get better. I just wanted to write a "welcome" letter to get you ready for what is going to come. Prepare yourself for some deep shit.
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